NVC & CREATIVITY
We often think of non-violent communication as being a way that we communicate with other people, and it is, but in the six years I've been training in NVC, I've discovered that it begins to infuse every aspect of one's life and consciousness.
I was surprised to discover recently that it was even changing the way I related to my creativity, and more specifically to my creative works, which for me is mostly writing. I write in many media, in particular I write novels, and one of my novels, which is science-fiction, I am submitting a sample of it to a writing contest.
It took me a long time to do the revision I needed to do. I felt “blocked,” so I used a couple of tools for unblocking creativity, "The Artist's Way" by Julia Cameron, and an online writers' workshop geared toward helping writers prepare their submission for the contest, but it was still slow-going, and I had a lot of self-judgment.
Because I'm used to giving myself empathy, I listened to my resistance and moved into compassion and acceptance. In time, I slowly began to revise the submission, sometimes just a few hundred words each day.
I began to enjoy the process again and it helped that my gentleness was having effect.
In time I saw that I'd been so rough with myself and my writing, trying to force myself, like a drill sergeant, in a power-over relationship. Naturally, my rebellious side dug in her heels and resisted.
When I shifted and began to treat my writer-self more like a playmate or lover in a courtship, she (my muse) became more friendly and flirtatious. It was fun again, like play rather than work. The days were becoming warmer and I'd spend some time outside enjoying the sunshine and the bird song.
I began to coax and seduce the story I was writing, like a lover writing poetry, it became pleasurable and fun, and I began a dance with my muse.
Suddenly I realized that we were in a beautiful partnership again. I let my muse be who she was. When I invited her to come out and play, she usually would, as long as it was truly an invitation and not a demand, we'd get along well and have a great time. There was a desire in me and I'd do my best to meet my own expectation, but if things didn't work out that way, it was totally fine.
No judgment.
Funny how much better my writing is coming along now. I've almost finished revising my submission and know that I will still be well within the contest deadline. From here on out, I know this is the new (non-violent) way I will relate to my creativity.